The Take Charge of Your Body program teaches young children what to do if confronted with situations that may be sexually exploitative. We are talking about body privacy and what to do if someone touches a child in ways that are confusing or make a child feel funny and uncomfortable. Children are also learning how to respond when offered treats or favors. In both cases, the safety plan is "Say No - Get Away - Tell Someone".

Know the Facts

1. 75% to 95% of the offenders are people who are familiar or related to the child.
2. Children usually do not make up sexual information unless they have been exposed to it in some manner. They speak from their own experience.
3. Damage to a child from non-violent sexual behavior is often underestimated. Most victims will experience confusion, shame, guilt, anger, and a poor self-image though they may reveal no obvious outward signs of damage.
4. Family sexual abuse is not usually an isolated, one-time incident. For many victims, the abuse continues for years. Often the offender will not stop until there is intervention.
5. Some people mistakenly believe that children provoke sexual abuse by behaving seductively. This is not true. Responsibility lies completely with the offender.
6. Children generally do not question the behavior of adults. This makes them especially vulnerable to sexual abuse since they are often coerced by bribes, threats, or by the adult's position of authority.
7. While the majority of reported victims are female, evidence shows increasing reports of male victims as well.

Take Action

Teach Your Children:

• THAT THEY CAN ALWAYS TALK TO YOU. Create an atmosphere at home where children feel comfortable talking about themselves and sharing their fears and concerns. Talk about your child's friends and his/her activities. Talk openly about touch and the private parts of the body.
• TO TELL IMMEDIATELY if an adult asks them to keep a secret, offers to give them treats or wants to photograph them. Talk to children about good secrets that are okay to keep private and bad secrets, which should be told.
• THAT THEIR BODIES BELONG TO THEM. They can resist uncomfortable touch even by relatives, and should tell you if they feel "funny" about what someone does to them.
• WHAT TO DO AND WHAT NOT TO DO WHEN HOME ALONE. A child should not answer the door and should not tell anyone over the phone that he/she is home alone. Explain it's OK to say, "My mommy or daddy can't come to the phone right now." Practice this plan with your child.
• THAT THEY CAN SAY "NO" TO STRANGERS.
  • Adults do not have to ask children for directions, so children should not feel obligated to give them.
  • They should never go into a stranger's car or allow a stranger into the house if they are alone.
  • They should never accept gifts, money, etc. from strangers
  • Say "NO" to touches on private parts of the body.
• TO WALK AND PLAY WITH FRIENDS.
  • A child is most vulnerable when alone. Don't let children play alone in fields, on playgrounds, or in other dangerous and isolated areas.
  • They should always tell you if they are invited into homes of neighbors or friends and have permission from you to go inside.
    o Do not let children go to public places, such as restrooms, alone.
• TO YELL AND TELL. If someone tries to follow or grab your child, he/she should yell, "I don't know you!", make lots of noise, and run away. The family plan is: Say "NO" (in an important voice or yell), get away, and tell a parent.
• A FAMILY CODE WORD that the child can remember. Explain that if you ever send someone to pick up your child, you will tell that person the code word. Your child should go along only with persons who first say your family's "secret" code word. Examples of code words might be the name of a pet, your family's favorite food, etc.; it's a good idea to rehearse this code word periodically with your child.
• A FAMILY ACTION PLAN.
  Devise a few simple steps to follow if you and your child become separated away from home. If this occurs, the child should go to a place where there are other people and ask for help. Rehearse periodically. Do not have children meet you in a parking lot.
• THE CHILDS' FULL NAME, ADDRESS, PHONE NUMBER (INCLUDING AREA CODE), HOW TO MAKE A LONG DISTANCE CALL, AND HOW TO DIAL "0".

The Family and Children's Council of Black Hawk County
Co-Authors Clare Struck, M.A. and Jill Hay, M.A.

What Teachers Have Said about CVFF's "Take Charge of Your Body" Presentation:

"Topic was explained simply and to the point. Video was very good ... kind of scary... but presented well. The presenter had good responses!!

"Excellent Video! I liked the approach used in the speaker's presentation: we have a plan for a lot of things (fire, tornado) and this is one more plan to have."

"I love the situation cards. This allowed the students to apply [what they learned]. I also like the swimsuit pictures to help them determine their private parts."

"Presenter took time to keep students involved and give then "think time". Presenter tried to keep them from being embarrassed.

"The presenters let the children talk, even if they got off track. They also got the students back on track easily. They did an outstanding job.

"My son is in my class at school, and as a parent, I feel good with the information shared with him. The video was very easy to follow and age appropriate!!! Excellent! Thank you!"